Your Horoscope with our resident Astrologer, Madame Teakay: Scorpio (October 24 - November 22)

Scorpio - October 24 - November 22


Quiet and thoughtful, many people underestimate you and feel the sting in your tail as a result. Never more true than this month, when certain people will go off on one for no particular reason and blame it on the meek and restful soul that they think you are. Give it to 'em straight and make them curse the day they underestimated you. As a silent predator, you have shed the clumsiness of your Silurian ancestors (not to mention the gills and other immediately noticeable accoutrements), and therefore will make easy work of the delinquent who scratches your car on the 9th, as well as the snotty jobsworth who refuses your refund as the moon enters its last quarter on the 16th.

• Lucky cutlery item: Spork
• Unlucky retro children's television program: Greenclaws
• Look out for: Relatives who can't work out how to do anything at all on a computer*

* You know who you are.