You are one in a million, but given your ovine influence, this just means that there are 6.6 million people around the world exactly like you: please unsaddle your high horse and start to realise that you really are just a person. That said, the only thing that people really dislike about you is your tendency to tell everyone that everyone really dislikes you. An occurrence on the 9th involving a banana skin, four Yorkshire Terriers and a packet of crayons (with the Laser Lemon colour missing) will be a make-or-break situation for you: How you handle yourself in the aftermath could be the difference between long-lived embarrassment and an exciting new job opportunity. When things get interesting as the New Moon recedes, just remember this: You're not in Kansas any more.
- Lucky retro chocolate bar: Freddo
- Unlucky beauty treatment: Bikini waxing
- Look out for: Epidemic viral memes
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